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Writer's pictureCharlotte Spafford

What to Expect for Your First Counselling Session


Two people facing each other in therapy

Whether you’ve been to counselling before or not, going into the first session can create a lot of anxiety. You may be wondering if you are going to like your therapist or not, if you are going to have to divulge your deepest feelings right away, or how on earth you are going to fit your life story into 50 minutes. 


Knowing what to expect won’t erase all your fears, but it can be helpful. 


In this post, I’d like to share the things you can expect in a first session with me. I’ll add a disclaimer that not all therapists/counsellors are alike, and so what I do may not reflect how other mental health professionals’ first sessions look. Also, each client is different and sometimes we don’t get to all these points in the first session. 


Welcome and Introduction


This will look a little different depending on if we are in person or online, but either way I will be saying hello and welcoming you to our physical or virtual space. I’ll also introduce myself, including my qualifications and therapeutic approach. You may have already read some of this stuff online, but I think it’s important that you are clear on who it is you will be working with. 


Logistics


Between confidentiality, informed consent, payment, cancellation policies, and scheduling - logistics is a very real concern! We will spend a few moments talking about each of these things so that you are aware of the policies and procedures around counselling. 


Prior Counselling Experience


It is very helpful for me to know if you have been to counselling before, and what worked or did not work for you with your previous counsellor. This information can help me understand the type of approach you are looking for, and what your expectations and fears are about counselling - so that we can have as good a start as possible. 


What’s Bringing You Here Now


This is the part where you get to share what is bringing you to counselling. It can feel intimidating to just open up about this stuff, but there is no right or wrong way to share this. Some people may have a long story to tell, and others may just share relevant details. This is your space and you choose how and what you share.


Symptoms and Coping


No matter what is bringing you to counselling, I want to know what your symptoms are, including how severe and frequent they are. Are you experiencing anxiety, anger, and other “fight or flight” type symptoms, or do you tend more towards “freeze” with symptoms of numbing and exhaustion? I also want to know what helps you cope or get out from under the difficult symptoms.


Suicide Risk and Self Harm


Sometimes when we are experiencing a lot of emotional pain, we can have thoughts of wanting to die, or we may harm ourselves. I will ask you this question to see if this is present in your life. If it is, I will ask more questions and we will explore the ways that you can keep yourself safe.


Physical health


Our physical and emotional health are deeply linked. I’ll ask you questions about your eating, exercise habits, sleep, and alcohol/drug intake. No judgement here, it’s just helpful to know how your physical health may be impacting your mental health. 


History


Some clients come in to talk about traumatic events from their past, but others are more focused on present day challenges. Either way, I want to know a bit about your history: important relationships, education and work history, family history, and more. You are always in charge of what and how much you share - I do not need to know everything, just what you feel is relevant. 


Strengths and Resources


What gets you through hard times? What are the people, activities, places, and things that bring you comfort and strength? What are the personal strengths that you have? Knowing about the helpful things in your life will allow us to build upon these things in your treatment - to highlight and expand the things that help, and develop new strengths to deal with life’s difficulties.


Culture and Spirituality


Culture shapes us. I am curious about your cultural upbringing and your ancestry. What does your cultural and ethnic background mean to you? How do you engage with your culture, or not? By understanding this, we can explore how culture may support your healing process.


Also, spirituality can be a support for many people - whether that’s following a particular faith or religion, or having particular practices or guiding beliefs that help you feel more connected to yourself and the world. Some people may have a difficult relationship with spirituality and/or religion, and that’s helpful for me to know too. 


Goals for Counselling


You are probably attending counselling because you are looking to make some changes in your life. I am interested in what those changes are that you wish to see. How will things be different as a result of counselling? What behaviours, thoughts, emotions would you like to change? How would you like your relationship to yourself and other to shift? Having a guiding intention for our work (although it may shift and change as we move forward) can be helpful so that we both know we are moving you in the direction you want to go. 


I hope that this post has helped to demystify the counselling process and provide some insight into what to expect. If you are looking to get some support, I offer in person counselling to people living in Vernon, Lake Country, Lumby, and Armstrong, as well as virtual counselling to people across British Columbia. Please feel free to email me to book a free 20 minute consultation at charlotte@relateandrestore.ca or book yourself in using this link.


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