Simple Ways to Cultivate Joy

Life is not easy. We all experience times of difficulty, whether it’s in relationships, work, concerns about political unrest, or with our mental health. In these times, it is important to address our challenges and work with them - we don’t want to ignore the things that need our attention. However, an additional strategy to help support ourselves through hard times can be to cultivate joy. 

Finding and cultivating the things that nourish and nurture us, can help us feel more resilient in hard times, and remind us of the goodness in life. Sometimes joy sneaks up and finds us, but sometimes we have to be intentional about seeking it out. In this post, I wanted to share some ideas about how we can find joy, and some specific practices to explore.

Noticing What Nourishes

Joy does not need to be a big deal. We can often think it is something that requires a lot of time, money, or energy - like a wedding or an international vacation - but actually, finding and consciously appreciating small moments of joy can be incredibly powerful. One way we can do that, is by intending to notice small nourishing or joyful things in our everyday life - things that perhaps we might usually pass by. 

We can do this by setting the intention to notice something pleasing over the course of our day (often setting a conscious intention to do something makes it more likely that we actually will do it). For example, we may make a point to notice a painting on a wall that has a colour we really love in it - maybe we normally wouldn’t see it, but we make a point to notice it on purpose. Orienting our mind towards something pleasant can help cultivate tiny moments of joy... and even tiny moments count.

Cultivating Sympathetic Joy

Sympathetic joy is when we are happy because of someone else’s happiness or success. Of course, sometimes seeing others thrive when we feel bad can create jealousy and resentment - and if that’s where you are at right now, this way of cultivating joy may feel a little out of reach for you at this point in your journey. However, even holding the intention to be happy for someone else’s happiness is a valuable starting point. 

If you are able to genuinely feel happy when someone else is doing well, there is an opportunity to piggyback off of this and allow it to be part of a practice of cultivating joy. When someone shares good news with you (whether that is directly or indirectly), consciously lean into your natural happiness for them, and allow that joy to expand in your mind and body. By doing this practice time and time again, it strengthens your ability to access this beautiful state of mind more easily. 

Creativity and Play

Creativity and play allow us to tap into a child-like state of mind, which is (I think) inherently joyful. There are so many ways to be creative and play, and although it can often feel difficult to prioritize this in our busy lives, it does not need to be a big gesture to mean a lot. We can even incorporate creativity and play into things we already do - like trying a new recipe instead of cooking the same old dish, putting on some fun music while we are cleaning, or being really present when playing with children. 

It can be helpful here to identify the things we already love to guide this process. Are you someone who enjoys music, movement, visual art, gardening, cooking, decorating, writing, making jokes, singing silly songs to your dog…? Pick one and reflect on how you can incorporate even a little bit more of that into your world. 

Nature and Awe

Being in nature can activate joy. The awe of a beautiful vista, the colour-light show of an Okanagan sunset, the birdsong in spring - nature is brimming with opportunities to connect with joy. Nature also encourages us to connect with our senses - touch, smell, vision, hearing, and even taste sometimes! Finding regular moments to be in nature (even if that just means admiring the potted plant on your windowsill) is inviting moments of joy.

It’s also worth mentioning that so many activities that we do when we are in nature feel like play! We are lucky in Vernon to have access to so much fun - downhill skiing at Silverstar, nordic at Sovereign, kayaking and paddleboarding and swimming on the lakes, and so many wonderful opportunities to hike, bike, and walk. Finding a regular outdoor activity that is accessible to you can be so helpful to regularly connect with nature and the play and joy it brings. 

Connection with Others

We are social creatures, and although connecting with others can sometimes be complicated, it can also be a source of joy. Again, this is an area where knowing yourself helps. Are you someone who prefers a one on one conversation with a friend, or a big noisy social gathering? Do you like to talk and share with others or do you prefer to be alongside them while doing something together, like a shared activity? Knowing what you need and prefer in connecting with others is helpful in building a social life that fits what you actually what - not what you think you should want. 

There is a lot of creativity that can come in exploring social connections. We can explore reconnecting with existing friends - or connecting with them in new ways, trying new activities as a way of meeting new people, joining groups… and so much more. It also can’t be overemphasized the importance of connecting in person. Texting and online connection is great, and can be so helpful, but nothing replaces in person time. 

That wraps up my overview of ways to cultivate joy! If you take anything from this, I hope to convey that there is a no one-size-fits all approach to joy, and that the most helpful thing you can do is to experiment and start to notice what actually works for you. 

I offer counselling in person in Vernon, BC, or online across British Columbia. If you’re looking for support in better understanding yourself and finding ways to connect to joy, feel free to to send me an email at charlotte@relateandrestore.ca, or if you’re interested in booking a free consultation to see if we might be a good fit to work together, click this link to access my booking schedule.