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Anxiety is an incredibly common issue that people bring to counselling. It is so physically uncomfortable to be anxious, and sometimes it can feel like we can’t escape the feeling. And the problem is, trying to escape the feeling actually makes the anxiety worse!
In this post, I will share 5 strategies for reducing anxiety. But first - in order to figure out how to work with our anxiety, it can be helpful to understand what is actually happening in our nervous system when we feel anxious.
Understanding Anxiety: The Window of Tolerance
Thanks to www.mindmypeelings.com for this great image.
This graphic does a great job of depicting how our nervous system works. The window of tolerance is the area in the middle with the unicorn floaty. This is where we feel calm and like we can manage life. Some people may have smaller windows of tolerance than others, particularly if they have experienced a traumatic event or are under a lot of stress. Our window of tolerance will fluctuate somewhat day by day, depending on how much we have going on in life.
Above the window of tolerance is dysregulation and hyperarousal. Dysregulation is when we start to feel restless, uncomfortable, and irritable, but we’re not totally out of control. Hyperarousal is like the “fight or flight” response, where we may feel very high levels of anxiety or anger.
If we spend too much time in hyperarousal, our body may start to get so overwhelmed that it goes into hypoarousal - the area at the bottom of the image. This is where we feel like we are shutting down, and depression and dissociation happen. That is why we often see anxiety and depression in tandem.
Our body is hardwired to respond to perceived threats by going into dysregulation and hyperarousal; it is how we keep ourselves safe. It is an incredibly useful and protective mechanism! The problem is that sometimes this mechanism can go haywire when there is no actual threat to our safety.
The good news is that we can learn to widen our window of tolerance, so that we are able to handle more of what life throws our way and spend less time feeling high levels of anxiety. There are many different ways to do this, and I will share a few of my favourites below!
5 Strategies for Reducing Anxiety
Tip One: Cultivate a Relationship with Anxiety
It is understandable that our impulse is to want our anxiety to go away, to shut it down and make it stop. But as I mentioned previously, unfortunately this approach often results in our anxiety growing even more.
The alternative method is to acknowledge anxiety as being a part of us that is doing its best to try to keep us safe. Maybe your anxiety is a loud, demanding part, or maybe it is really afraid and feels vulnerable - it is important to tune in and notice how anxiety specifically shows up for you.
If we recognize anxiety being a part of us, rather than it being our whole self, we have more flexibility around how we interact and respond to it.
It may be helpful to find a way of representing anxiety as something outside of yourself. Often in sessions, I will have clients draw their anxious part, or give it a name, or have a journal dialogue with this part of themselves. This allows them to begin to cultivate that relationship with their anxiety.
Tip Two: Explore your Anxiety
The next step after forming a relationship with your anxiety is starting to bring some curiosity to it, so that we can start to understand why this part of us shows up, looking for patterns around when it shows up, and even considering how this part of us came about in the first place.
We can do this in a number of ways, including by noticing the anxious feelings when they arise and bringing mindful curiosity to how it is showing up. We could also journal with or about the anxious part to better understand it (you could use different colour pens to represent yourself and the anxious part). The important thing here is that we are turning towards anxiety, rather than turning away from it and abandoning this part of ourselves.
Some questions you might consider in exploring your anxious part:
What is this part’s job?
When does it show up?
How old was I when this part of me came to be? Why did it show up then?
What does this part of me believe about the world?
What does this part of me think about me?
What does this part of me need?
What would this part of me need to spend less time in the driver’s seat?
It is critical to consider these questions with an inherent respect for the fact that anxiety exists for a reason and is trying to protect us.
If we can start to identify and give anxiety what it needs - whether that is compassion, care, reassurance, boundaries, understanding, or something else - it will be more likely that it will naturally soften.
Tip Three: Calm the body
Anxiety is a highly physical experience, often resulting in a racing heartbeat, sweaty palms, tightness in the throat, and any number of other symptoms. When we are in the midst of an anxious moment, sometimes the best thing we can do is to take action to calm the body.
There are many different techniques out there that we can use to calm the body. Play with different techniques and see what works for you.
I would recommend practicing your relaxation techniques when your anxiety is mild to moderate in severity. Practicing a new technique on severe anxiety may not be very effective, and may cause you to discount a technique that would work very well with practice.
Breathing
Breathing is an incredibly popular tool to regulate the nervous system, and for good reason - it works! Well, it works for most people.
There are countless breathing strategies you can try: box breathing, 5-7-8, belly breathing, pursed lip breathing, alternative nostril breathing, Wim Hof and more.
My personal favourite breathing techniques are Ujjayi Breathing and Sighing.
Ujjayi breathing is a type of yoga breathing that involves taking a deep breath through the nose, and then exhaling through the nose while restricting the back of the throat. It’s almost like a sigh with your mouth closed. You will hear a whisper of a sound on the exhale. Try doing this three times.
Sighing involves taking a deep breath and then exhaling with an open-mouthed “ha” sound (I’m sure you know how to sigh, though :) ). I love doing this when no one else is around and making the sound really loud. It feels great!
Muscle Tense and Release
Like breathing, there are many different muscle relaxation strategies:
Tensing up the shoulders and neck and face on an inhale, and releasing on an exhale x3
Paired muscle relaxation - starting with the face, slowly tensing and releasing each muscle group one by one (face, neck and shoulders, arms, torso, upper legs, lower legs).
Clenching fists on an inhale, releasing on an exhale.
And I’m sure there are many more options out there!
Mammalian Dive Reflex
This is a weird one, but it works! Scientists have found that when mammals plunge into cold water, it produces an immediate calming response in the body. You may not have a body of water to plunge into, but other options that have similar effect include taking a blast of cold water in the shower, splashing your face with icy water, or even running your wrists under cold water.
This is a great strategy when anxiety levels are quite high, as it has a pretty immediate effect. Give it a try!
Tip Four: Calm the Mind
Calming the body is a great place to start in managing anxiety symptoms, but sometimes our mind is reeling with anxious thoughts and we need an approach that can help us to slow down the thinking and come into the present moment. Here are some techniques you can try:
Looking around your environment
Sometimes when we are anxious, our brain is so caught up in thoughts that we are no longer connected to our environment. Assuming our environment is safe, this can be a great way to ground into the present.
The act of moving our eyes around our environment, looking up at the ceiling, over our shoulders, and down at the ground, can help orient us to the fact that we are in fact safe in this moment. Bonus points if you can get your brain to really notice the details of the space - colours, textures, patterns, etc. Another thing I like to do is look around for all the places where the walls, floor, and ceiling meet. This gets the eyes moving and initiates a safety response.
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This is a classic grounding exercise, aimed at getting you into the present moment.
For this one you are to look around your environment and name:
5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you can touch
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
Thinking Exercises
Sometimes when the brain is really busy, we need to give it another neutral task to focus on. This could include:
Naming all the fruits and vegetables, animals, flowers, or cars that you can think of.
Doing some math: counting backwards by 3 from 100, counting up in 7s, etc.
Picking a letter and naming words that start with that letter
This can be a helpful way to distract the mind when it’s in an anxious spiral.
Tip Five: Validate your Anxiety
My last tip for managing anxiety is to validate the feeling. Allow me to help:
You are not wrong to be anxious, it does not mean that you are flawed or inadequate. It is an incredibly normal human experience that we all feel; it is hardwired into our nervous system at a very basic level!
Especially in today’s world, with its systemic oppression, climate change, war, rising costs of everything, social media, and more - of course we feel anxious. There is a lot to be concerned about in our world, and if you are worried about it, welcome to the club! You are not alone.
Add onto this the impact of trauma, difficult life experiences, relationship challenges, and the complexity of being a human - it is a recipe for anxiety. It is so important to recognize that anxiety doesn’t exist for no reason, even if it feels like it is random at times. I see so many people who struggle with anxiety and after a few sessions it becomes clear that there was some really tough stuff that happened to them in the past. Of course anxiety would be present.
In validating your anxiety, we must recognize that it is a normal human experience, and we also want to create the space to heal the traumas and painful life experiences that may have given rise to a heightened anxiety response.
Seek Anxiety Counselling
If you are noticing that you are struggling to manage your anxiety, and you notice that it is having an impact on your relationships, work, and ability to enjoy life, it may be worth looking into getting some counselling. Counsellors are trained in how to help people with this very issue - and the good new is, anxiety is treatable!
If you are looking for anxiety counselling in Vernon, BC, and you don't have extended health benefits, check out my post here outlining affordable and free counselling options in Vernon and the North Okanagan.
I provide anxiety counselling in person in Vernon. and online or by phone across BC. As an RSW, many extended health plans will cover my fees. I also offer a few sliding scale spots, so if money is a concern, please get in touch and we can discuss a fee that works for you. Book a free consultation here today.
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